What is Death? Part II of IV: Fear Death?

An important question to ask about death is “Is death something to fear?” And if it is, what about it is scary? Thích Nhất Hạnh, a Buddhist monk and peace activist, discusses the fear of death in his book No Death No Fear. He states that people fear death because they fear disintegration or annihilation. Put another way, they fear that death will bring nothingness and ultimately no future. He argues that death is not the end, and that it is only a continuation of life. He uses the analogy of a cloud that transforms into rain. Rain does not mark the death of the cloud, only the continuation of the cloud into another form. I am not here to discuss philosophy or meta-physics, and you may very well believe that death brings with it the afterlife and eternal salvation. Regardless of your philosophical or ideological beliefs, I simply want to argue that there is no reason to fear death. 

To be afraid of something, it generally has to be scary and it has to be bad. Is death itself either of these things? This is something Shelly Kagan goes into great depth on, but I will highlight only a few points worth considering when trying to determine if death is scary and/or bad.

Is Death the End?

If we imagine that death is truly the end; there is no continuation, there is no afterlife, we can get a better sense of whether death is a bad thing. One who is arguing that death is a bad thing would say that dying robs the individual of the opportunity to experience things that can only be experienced while alive. One cannot watch their grandchildren grow up, for example. I would argue that when you are dead, you are dead. You won’t be concerned about what you can’t experience because you won’t be alive to be concerned. Those feelings of sorrow, pain and regret are something you may experience while dying, which will be the single topic of another post. In my opinion, death itself is rather indifferent, and therefore is not something we should fear. As Seneca, the famous Roman Stoic has said, “We don’t fear death but the contemplation of death.” Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius’ also agrees that death is not something to fear.

When Will I Die?

Some would argue that the simple fact that we might die at any given moment is enough reason to fear death. Will I die today? Tomorrow? In ten years? Who knows. Well, what if this were predetermined and you knew exactly when you were going to die? How does that feel? Any less scary? Probably not. It probably feels even more scary, because putting a date and time next to your death makes it all too real and tangible. This is something many people avoid. But when you Compete to Live, you attack this head on. Get comfortable with the fact you will die one day and much of the anxiety goes away. Marcus Aurelius said in his Meditations, “Even if you were destined to live three thousand years, or ten times that long, nevertheless remember that no one loses any life other than the one he lives, or lives any life other than the one he loses.” What he means is that no matter the duration of your life, you only get one life, and more specifically, all you ever really have is the present moment. So enjoy it, and experience it with your full attention. With similar sentiment, Seneca said “There’s only one way we can say that the life we live is long: if it’s enough.” When we die is not relevant, nor is its uncertainty a cause for fear. If we live fully present, we will not have any regrets in our life whether we die now or decades from now. 

How Will I Die?

Similar to the “When will I die?” question, not knowing how we will die could bring on some degree of fear. It could be one of a million different ways to go, ranging from a freak accident to some sort of health complication. This question is of particular interest to me because I feel we actually have some degree of control over it (well, aside from the freak accidents but even that risk can be mitigated). When I talk about Competing to Live, there are really two “buckets” in which we need to compete: Spiritual and Physical.

1. The Spiritual Competition is all about competing to stay in the moment. This is the foundation to the Compete to Live philosophy, and it is guided by a close examination of our own mortality. Leveraging our mortality to guide our priorities and anchor us to the present moment, because that is all we are guaranteed, is a tactic we will come back to time and time again.

2. The Physical Competition is about competing for our health. It may seem counter to the “stay in the moment” philosophy, but being present does not mean throwing all planning and consideration of the future out the window. It is imperative to compete for our health and to dictate the variables that we have control over. 

Once you accept the reality that you will die, and even the reality that you will experience physical decline as you age, you can start to craft a strategy to improve and preserve your health. The three most important pillars to optimizing health for the long-term are:

1. Physical Fitness and Strength

2. Metabolic Health

3. Cardiovascular Health

By having good control over those three aspects of health, you can dramatically reduce your risk of the most common causes of death or injury. Ultimately, not knowing how you will die can cause anxiety, but you can take steps to reduce your chances of falling victim to some of the most common causes of death. We will come back to the Physical Competition in Part IV of this series for a more in depth look.

In conclusion, death is not something that should be feared, nor is it something that is inherently bad. At face-value, it is a natural part of life that can be used to guide our way of living. You might still be thinking that death really sucks, and it is definitely a bad thing. This is likely a result of the pain you have experienced, or would expect to experience with the death of a loved one. That pain is undoubtedly real, and in Part III of this series we will look at some of the reasons why losing a loved one brings so much pain.